Runaway Hormones (197?) (A Totally New Concept In Erotic Involvement) & Drop Out (1973)
I wonder what the promised "new concept in erotic involvement" was. Hell, I don't really even know what older concept in "erotic involvement" this new concept was supposed to replace would have been. In any event, don't miss the false-but-I-don't-care blurb at the top of this ad: "Thousands of letters and phone calls asking the reshowing of the most explicit sensual daring picture of the year." Beautiful.
And how about this description for Drop Out on IMDB? "Billie drops out of college, and goes hitch-hiking. Soon, her beauty gets her a place in a lecherous tourist's car, whose next stop is a roadside hotel managed by a neo-nazi and his wife. Next morning, abandoned alone, and with no money to pay the hotel bill, Billie has to find several degrading ways to earn a living. With so many people eager for sex (a lesbian stripper, a photographer, a porn film director and his two nubile stars...)"
Sure that last sentence isn't a complete sentence, but any sexploitation film that involves a lecherous tourist, a neo-nazi and his wife, and degrading ways of earning a living is one I'm interested in seeing.
News: Kozy Kitten: We Dare You - Live Nude Dance Acts
05.04.12
We Dare You - Live Nude Dance Acts
I can't figure out what the dare is here. It seems that the first half of the dare is there in the middle of the page: "If you can take our rough 1st run, color and sound movies", but there's no second half. Maybe the dare is just to show up in the first place? As in "We dare you to show up if you can take our rough 1st run, color and sound movies"? I dunno. Seems that the real dare would be to follow the suggestion at the bottom of the ad to bring your wife or girlfriend to the Kozy Kitten. Click here for more.
Advert: Jenny Gets the Top
05.04.12
Jenny Gets the Top (197?) - An Expose of the Record Business
This film may be Lust Combo (1970), which IMDB says had the alternate title of Jenny Gets on Top. The reference in the ad to the record business certainly seems to fit this IMDB synopsis for Lust Combo: A three piece rock band called "The Three Easy Pieces" drives into Tennessee to play a gig. After the show, they meet up with three women and pair off for three one-nighters. In the morning, the band leaves.
Wicked, Wicked (1973) - Twice The Tension! Twice The Terror!
MGM Introduces a New Film Experience: DUO-VISION. No Glasses - All You Need Are Your Eyes
So... even though this ad admits that you only need working eyes to enjoy Duo-Vision, the trailer for the film (below) acted like special movie screens were necessary to display the "new" innovation. In reality, Duo-Vision was nothing more than the feature-length use of a split-screen. I've never seen Wicked, Wicked, but it's one that I definitely watch to see in a theater one day:
And hey! While writing this post I found out that Wicked, Wicked director Richard L. Bare also directed a movie called I Sailed to Tahiti with an All Girl Crew five years earlier, which is a crazily amazing title.
Sisters (1973) (What the Devil hath joined together let no man cut asunder!) & Pickup on 101 (1972)
Love that fear-management gimmick: To allow audiences to regain their composure after each showing of Sisters, no one will be seated during a SPECIAL SHOCK RECOVERY PERIOD!
Magic Christmas Tree (1964) & Enter the Dragon (1973)
I should hold this until Christmas, but I don't feel like it and would probably forget if I tried to set it aside. So I'm running it now so we can all imagine how great it would have been to head to the Wildey Downtown theater one afternoon in November 1973 for a double feature of Magic Christmas Tree and Enter the Dragon. Amazing.
Advert: Raw Meat, Cannibal Girls, Deep Thrust, The Last House on the Left, & The Gospel Road
05.02.12
Raw Meat (1973), Cannibal Girls (1973), Deep Thrust (1972), The Last House on the Left (1972), & The Gospel Road (1973)
Four classic taglines/gimmicks. The Left House "It's only a movie" and Cannibal Girls warning bells are the better known of the two, but "The Land of the Hungry Dead" and "Karate at its Deadliest" are nothing to scoff at.
And man, am I the only one that views the showtime chunk at the top of each box and imagines what movies called Meat Girls and Thrust House would be like?
I can't find this film on IMDB, and I'm not entirely sure what that tagline says. I think it's "Exposes the depths of an insatiable sexual appetite." Pretty sure that's right. I feel like a rare sexploitation admat archaeologist.
News: The Lobby - Madison's Topless & Bottomless Fun Club
04.25.12
The Lobby - Madison's Topless & Bottomless Fun Club
Three questions came to mind when I found this ad:
1: What "tournament fans" were being marketed to? I'm vaguely aware that there's a college basketball tournament some time in March these days. Was it going on back then?
2: Does the promise of "Tom Kats & Sex Kittens" suggest that the club had male and female strippers? If so, that's pretty rare, right?
3: Should you really post your opening and closing hours (including an entire closed day) right next to a claim of "Continuous Entertainment"?
The Abductors (1972) - Ginger Plays Rough - There's Not A Man Alive That She Can't Take On, Put Down, Or Slice Up
I was tempted to cut out the reference to The Last Picture Show on this ad so that it looked like The Abductors was nominated for 8 Academy Awards, because that's the kind of world that I want to live in. It's been years since I last saw The Abductors (review here), a film that could fairly be called a beautifully fascinating trainwreck. I liked the movie the last time I saw it, but over the years it's grown in estimation in my mind, to the point where I'd now say that I love it. Which means it's probably time to give it a revisit to see how much of the film I have in my mind is real, and how much is made up.
In the interim, however, I can always just spend time with this, what must be the most-posted youtube clip on RD:
I posted that clip to youtube in 2007, and although I've posted dozens of videos with much higher view counts, I'm very proud to have exposed over 100,000 people to the glory of Ms. Cheri Caffaro and her Maracas.
News: Diamond Don's - Have You Seen All Of Our Girls???
04.17.12
Diamond Don's - Have You Seen All Of Our Girls???
If Diamond Don's Folies Bergere is going to promise 8-10 topless and bottomless girls (hello, Googlers), you think they'd go ahead and show that many in their clip art. A bottom row of ladies would provide nice symmetry to this ad.
Not that Diamond Don's' target audience was overly concerned about ad symmetry. I'm sure they did just fine with their "8-10 topless and bottomless girls" promise.
North Country (1972) - Adventure and Entertainment For The Whole Family
What looks like a bear fight movie (it isn't, but I can dream, right?) plus a featurette of Big Foot Man or Beast? This sounds amazing. (Note: "This" in this scenario is the fake double picture I'm imagining in my head... I'm sure the actually thing sucked edu-balls.
Once I get my time machine, the mid-80s New Kingston Entertainment Centre, with its AM Sound Car or Portable Radios and its cafeteria with Delicious Jamaican Dishes is going to be an early stop.
Advert: Sahara, 10 to Midnight, The Last American Virgin
04.12.12
Sahara (1983), 10 to Midnight (1983), The Last American Virgin (1982)
Wait. Was Palace Amusement threatening to force retro-virginity on people in Kingston that didn't go see The Last American Virgin? How would that even work?
I'm only listing the two films with imagery in this admat, but I could have walked into any of those theaters at random and been completely happy.
And I can recognize where the source image came from, but Kurt Russell really looks like he's wearing prostitute-levels of mascara in this ad.
Advert: On the Right Track, Superstition, & Chinese Mack
04.10.12
On the Right Track (1981), Superstition (1982), & Chinese Mack (1974)
Lots of fun in this admat, but I really like the overblown promise of "TV wonder star Gary Coleman, popular star of 'DIFFERENT STROKES'." That's some good stuff. Especially after I saw IMDB's promise that Coleman was a "homeless shoeshine boy living in a railway station" in the film. I think I need to see it ASAP.
